About Horizon
by Slavka13748
Summary: Shepard seeks advice from Doctor Chakwas after the events on Horizon. Oneshot. Written for the Kaidan Alenko Prompt Project over at the Bioware Social Network. Rating for language. femShep/Kaidan.


**Captain's Quarters, Normandy SR-2**

**Less Than A Day After The Events On Horizon**

"You wanted to see me, Commander?"

Arianna Shepard gently placed the photo frame back on her desk, turning to face the figure in the doorway.

"Please take a seat, Doctor Chakwas."

Almost as soon as the doctor was seated, the Commander opposite visibly slumped.

"I can't do this any more, Doctor. I can't keep on pretending everything's fine. I was dead. Dead! I've lost two years of my life, been forced to work with terrorists... and I'm just supposed to go along with it? Everyone I know's either acting like I was never gone, or they've... moved on..."

Shepard's voice cracked slightly on the last two words, making it obvious what the real problem was. Chakwas extended an arm, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"This is about Alenko, isn't it?"

Shepard looked up, as if to protest, but Chakwas interrupted her.

"It's alright. I knew you two were close."

Shepard softened, but her gaze seemed distant as she spoke.

"He... He was the one person I thought would understand, you know? Ever since I... came back, I've kept myself going, hoping I'd find him. And now I have. And I fucked it up, didn't I?"

"I wouldn't say tha-"

"But I did, didn't I? He doesn't trust me. Why should he? I'm with Cerberus now. We saw what they did first hand. Right now, I wouldn't trust myself."

"He'll come around in time."

"No, he won't. And if he does, he's not the man I fe-"

Shepard stopped herself, meeting the doctor's gaze.

"He's not the man you fell in love with."

Shepard didn't even try to protest.

"It's just... I've lost more than time."

"If there's anything I can do, Shepard..."

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do. I don't even know that any more."

"... Honestly?"

"Honestly."

Shepard's green eyes shone with the slightest hint of tears. Chakwas almost didn't want to give her opinion to the desperate woman.

"He's moved on. You should to."

"... Of course."

The Commander turned swiftly towards her terminal, trying in vain to hide the single tear that escaped her eye.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. It's just my opinion."

"No, I'm sorry. Thank you, Doctor. You may return to your duties now."

Only when she heard the door slide shut behind her did Shepard turn once again to the photo frame. Kaidan's portrait flickered into life, shining through the mess of fingerprints present on the screen. She regarded the picture in silence, that single tear now making its way down her cheek. Doctor Chakwas was right. He would have moved on. It had been two years. The healthy thing would be to do the same. Her trembling finger hovered over the 'delete' button at the back of the frame.

She closed her eyes. It was now or never.

**Crew Quarters, Normandy SR-2**

**One Week After The Events On Horizon**

"Get this door open, Doctor!"

Shepard and Garrus shuffled through the open door into the med bay, an unconscious Grunt supported on their shoulders.

"He suffered considerable damage in the last firefight; we only had enough medigel to get him stable. I take it you can get him back on his feet?"

To any other crew member, Shepard was no different than usual. All business. The one sane woman. An anchor. The glue that held the team together. However you wanted to describe it. It was as if Horizon had never happened.

"Of course, Commander. He'll be fully functional in a matter of hours."

"Good. I'll be in my cabin if you need me."

Doctor Chakwas watched the Commander leave, her stride purposeful and confident. A far cry from the wreck she had been just a week earlier. Chakwas shook her head, turning back to her Krogan patient. Shepard was tough, if nothing else.

Two levels above, Shepard stepped out of the elevator into the captain's quarters. Her terminal screen lit up as she approached, proclaiming that "YOU HAVE NEW MAIL". She slid into her chair, left hand hovering over the haptic interface, as she turned to the photo frame on her desk.

Kaidan's portrait flickered into life, shining through the mess of fingerprints present on the screen. She regarded the picture in silence, a small smile crossing her face. Motivated for one more day, she turned back to the terminal, opening her inbox.

"_About Horizon..."_


End file.
